Here’s a quick reminder, that you can never get rid of disappointments permanently in your 20’s and the rest of your life but you can strategically deal with them, so you can live a healthy life. Read to know more ...
These are moments where the littlest discomfort overwhelms us. If only we could write our stories with our own hands ; most of our story lines will include: soft life with no atom of stress, regret, sad times, or disappointment.
Life comes with waves of disappointment and knowing fully well that things don’t always go as planned, should not discourage you from planning your life despite the odds .
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.~ Les Brown
The faster we recover when we fall, the faster we redirect our thoughts and emotions to enjoy the present and future.
Disappointment in Your 20’s
This particular phase of anyone’s life determines the future ( the unknown) . Whatever decision we make in our 20’s will either create a better future or ruin it!
Those in their 30’s can explain better...
It is absolutely a chaotic phase that comes with a lot of challenges, wins, failures and disappointments. Failure stirs disappointment.
We were not informed about the tremendous and chaotic 20’s. As a matter of fact, most of us jumped into adulthood, feeling it’ll grant us all our desires quickly. I remember my peers always making these statements:
“I can’t wait to leave my parents, have my own life, where no one will tell me what to do.
I can’t wait to fall in love and get married at the age of 23/25 .
I can’t wait to get a job immediately I’m done with my undergraduate program. I’ll love to further my education as soon as I’m done.
I can’t wait to get my own apartment, cook my own meals and invite friends over .
I can’t wait to sit like a boss in my own company.
I can’t wait to have a successful business or career.
I can’t wait to be the best Father.
I can’t wait to be the best Mother, Sister, etc.
I can’t wait to drive my dream car.
I can’t wait to travel round the whole world and so on.
Now look who’s here, whining about going back to their childhood. Hahahah....
No, I’m not trying to mock our desires and dreams but I feel we rushed into adulthood without even thinking or preparing for it.
There’s no time to blame anything on anyone. No one is ever prepared for adulthood but we can be in charge of it.
One way or the other, we feel unhappy when our expectations and hopes are not fulfilled .
What Causes Disappointments
“The Arrival” Misconception: The perception that when you arrive at a certain destination, you’ll be happy. Forgetting that life has its ups and downs and in other to get to the top, you’ll pass through challenges and fail countless of times before accomplishing your goals and desires. This misconception deprives us from enjoying the present (the atmosphere of growth) . Don’t wait till you arrive before you enjoy happiness. Rather enjoy it now while you’re on your way to that destination (expectation end point).
“The end of a melody is not its goal; but nonetheless, if the melody had not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either. A parable.”~Nietzche.
Note: The fun part of life does not come when you arrive, now is the fun part.
Childhood Traumatic Experiences: This particular cause of disappointment is the foundation to most of our setbacks in our world today. Where people experience traumatic disappointments that negatively affects their psyche from childhood. Thereafter, along the way in life, these experiences automatically replay when we are faced with similar life challenges. The discouragement you faced back then as a child affects the present.
Expectations of other people, things, place, and the unknown: We tend to have high expectations for these external factors. Having unrealistic expectations about them, will consistently feed you with disappointments when they don’t match your assumptions.
“What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.” ~Chuck Palahniuk
Ways To Deal with Disappointments
These strategies will only guide you through life’s journey. It’ll help you cope through the drama and stress that comes with disappointments.
Know Your Heart: If you truly want these external factors ( people, things , place , the universe) to work for you, then you need to understand your heart . When we experience disappointments, it derails us and tampers with our identity and belief. Secure your heart by understanding your core values and principles as an individual. Understanding this will keep you alive and balanced to overcome challenges at any given time.
Practice Self Acceptance: Accept who you truly are, your flaws, weaknesses and strengths. They all create your unique identity. Do not hate yourself or repetitively judge your mistakes. Accepting who you are allows you to acknowledge what is real. Practice positive self talk, meditation and breathe into the moment. Like breath, disappointment will surely come and go . Nothing lasts forever.
Don’t Let Disappointments Aggravate: Learn to let go. Let that back breaking disappointment (burden) go. ....the sun will always shine in the morning... Disappointments held on for long will lead to depression, anxiety, negative thinking and energy, anger and grudge. So let go ....
Moderate Your Confidence: Being over-confident can make you set unrealistic goals that’ll end up in failures . Learn to entertain negativities in life, it’ll open your mind for the possibility of negative outcomes.
Distract Yourself To Balance Focus: Take your mind away from the “why’s and what if’s “. This is a bit difficult and at the same time easy. Find a new book or watch a new movie, go on a trip or vacation, study a new documentary, stay focused by shifting your attention from the past to the present and future .
Will I ever be truly happy in my 20’s ?
Welcome to the overthinkers club, where we worry about so much and end up achieving nothing. The only way to find out the answer to this question is to truly be You!
Live, Learn, Fail and at the end our reward is success , happiness and fulfillment of life’s purpose. I’ve definitely not figured anything about my life out but with these guides and knowledge I keep on discovering, I think I’ll definitely land safely when I fall.
Share your thoughts / experiences about disappointments today in the comments below.
Great piece
Amazing content. An inspiration for all!
Inspiring content. Very beautiful piece.