The Power of “NO”
- Freda Amakiri
- May 16, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 2, 2024
Ever wondered why you became a people pleaser in the first place?
Personally, I struggle to say “No”, and whenever I try to say “No” , it sounds like a “Yes” (and that sucks! )
No matter how much we try to please people, they’ll never like us for who we are, or care about how we feel, or listen to us whenever we want to share our perception or ideas. They’ll never stop preying on us!
For the sake of our mental well-being, don’t feel scared to say“No” . It is obvious we don’t want to partake in that activity, kiss that boy, go on that trip or go on that date, that’s why we’re saying “No”.
The Power of “No” is our one way ticket to sanity, freedom and self worth.
(Read to know more...)
Saying The Unintentional “Yes”
It is tilted the unintentional “yes” for a reason. Pleasing people all the time makes you spit out the unintentional “yes”, even when you say “no” clearly in your mind.
Psychologically we’ve been brain washed to feel like we’re selfish when we say “No”. We end up trying to accomplish other people’s goals and dessert ours. It is sometimes good to hold back and be self-centered. PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
Refrain from giving people that attention they desire. There’s no way you can escape disappointments, depression, regrets and the feeling of being used when you’re trying to please people.
Why Do I Always Say the Unintentional “Yes”
From experience and research , saying the unintentional “yes” makes us feel like we’re just trying to get on the good side of people or trying to protect ourselves. Well, that’s the big fat lie we tell ourselves to feel better.
Our needs and wants as humans are unlimited. The more we say “yes”to things we’re uncomfortable with, the more we’ll be used as preys. The moment you say “No” it creates a balance, peace, empowerment and mental assertion.
How to Say “No” Without Feeling Hurt
Be Honest With Yourself: Reflect on why you don’t want to carry out that activity . Do you feel forced to do what you’re asked to do? If you want to live longer you should learn how to say “no”. Staying true to yourself and your instincts should be your number one priority.
Be Positive: You’re never at fault for just trying to be you and accepting your feelings. Don’t over- explain. It builds anxiety and misunderstandings. Be you and speak freely. Avoid sounding too defensive. Speak with some respect and boldness.
Be Sensitive: Let them know why you’re declining their request. Show some empathy when needed. We’re not trying to be rude. We’re only trying to be expressive.
Get to the Point: Don’t sugarcoat your yes or no by saying maybe. If you have no intention , don’t agree or disagree in the first place.
The Consequence of saying an unintentional “no”or “yes”
Unwanted Life Scars: You might suffer; sexual harassment, public embarrassment, emotional bully, physical bully,, depression, and so on simply because you’re trying to please people who really don’t matter. Saying an unintentional “no” or “yes” gives our predators a sense of power to sexually prey on us without consent. It gives them power over us, to use and publicly harass us whenever they feel like. Overall, making life a living hell.
Conclusion
Be authentic to yourself and create a balance in your life by understanding the power of saying no or yes. Say no to the wrong things and yes to what’s right . Live your life and be true to your emotions.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch
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