"There is more that meets the eye" when we think about circumstances that deprive us of living and growing. We endanger our psychological and physiological well-being when we succumb to factors that steal our joy.
Do you think so too?
Before we regret wasting time on these thoughts, let's take a few minutes to identify and find solutions, or make resolutions. Here are three things that we unconsciously allow to steal our joy.
Comparison and Envy
We struggle with this a lot, and it’s not something we can eradicate immediately but deliberately. We feel these factors cannot be controlled! Come on!
When we fix our minds to be structured in a pattern, then that can make us delete comparison and envy from our lives.
Here’s what my mom taught me at a tender age when I started developing envy. When I compared myself with my peers and felt like they had everything, they wore the nicest clothes with nice fittings, while my mom always made us wear oversized clothes with less fit, and we knew it was way too expensive for their look. Too expensive, I must say.
I would drag my feet every day feeling ugly and not enough, but when she noticed, she gave me the pep talk. (And this was on a Sunday morning.)
“Do you think they are way better than you? Do you think they’re not wishing that they were you too?
I want you to understand that you’re beautiful in that Sunday dress you're wearing, and no one can ever be you.
Your dress is beautiful, and it’s worth every penny.”
Now she wasn’t joking at all.
My dress could fit and not lose its texture or value for 10 years straight, and I’m not joking or exaggerating when I say this.
Most times, we envy people for materialistic things that sincerely don’t matter. Whatever you feel, it’s natural, but no one can ever be you or rock a Sunday dress like you.
Be comfortable with your skin; I learned that almost the hard way. I slowly learned how to overcome envy, and while I was learning, I struggled a lot with the “not good enough” thoughts. It mentally drained me, made me less productive, and filled me with wishful thoughts.
The moment you have in front of you shouldn’t be wasted on envying someone who’s probably dealing with his own life challenges and thoughts. It might take you years before you’ll realize what you’ve been doing and how it has drastically ruined your life.
Protect yourself by grooming your positive mindset.
Complaining
“You cannot complain and be grateful at the same time." This is one major factor that breaks homes and relationships (both interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships). For every slight discomfort, we grumble and transfer negative energy to the people around us. There’s no joy for the man who complains a lot. He sees no good in anything. Perfectionism blinds the eye from seeing the endless possibilities of life.
Unresolved Conflict
You can’t experience genuine joy when you’re living with unresolved conflicts.
Evaluate your life and tell me all these facts are lies.
You’ll be living in fear, bitterness, anger, and resentment, living a life with unresolved conflicts.
"Oh, I’m going to make sure he or she gets punished for making my life miserable.”
This same energy of resentment, bitterness, and anger can be converted into an energy that easily finds solutions to conflict.
There’s no way we can control circumstances—absolutely no way. The only way is to continuously learn how to react to them. Master the craft, and you’ll be a free man or woman, enjoying genuine happiness for the rest of your life.
Here are some tips that will help you adjust your reactions:
Create personal boundaries.
Identify what triggers you and when it triggers you.
Most importantly, your life is in your hands. Protect your joy at all costs. There’s no time to linger on past hate and mistakes.
This entire resolution might take time. It could be weeks, months, or years. However, the will to identify, strategically react, and let go of these factors is in your hands.
Choose wisely.
Share with us your thoughts on this topic in the comments below.
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